17/09-18/09/2015
So there I am in a snowplough in Glenfinnan. The weather continued fair, to be fair, and Glenfinnan itself is very pretty. Well the Loch and the forest are. The village is basically a one horse town that the horse converted into hotels and galloped out of on the proceeds. No shops so staying here either means a lot of spending on hotel grub or running down my supplies.
But I definitely needed at least one days rest. Actually paid John the Trainspotter for two nights and so was relaxing. First I slept in. In a bed. OK I had to use my bag but that was fine. There was a stove I could make tea on and everything.
When I finally got up and had another god-sent shower then more tea I re-bound the knee, this time sans stick splints and headed off to see the sights. The sights here include the Railway Museum where I was staying and the Monument.
The Rail Museum is a perfect little station of Victorian vintage near the Glenfinnan Viaduct (famous for being used as the backdrop for Harry and Ron in the flying Ford Anglia trying to catch the Hogwarts Express in the Harry Potter film franchise). It really is a good example of its type and I recommend a visit. John clearly an enthusiast also acts as post collector, token keeper and Stationmaster for the line....which runs the Jacobite, the only scheduled steam train still running on the main line in the UK. It typically runs Black Fives, which is slightly disappointing as they were...well...boring even back in the day. I know it would be overkill but I would have stuck an A4 on there myself and sod the corners.
So one reason for the herds of Japanese and American tourists is the presence of the Hogwarts Express. Though taken literally that suggests Hogwarts is in a small scottish fishing port. Anyway it is well kept, has a small shop and I recommend a visit.
I also walked down to the Other Thing, which I had walked past the day before. This was the reason the Merkins were here. Because the Other Thing is the Monument, commemorating where Bonnie Prince Charlie raised his banner in 1745 in the second Jacobite Rebellion. And the Merkins love BPC and they all claim to have a clan. ( I can talk, I actually do have a clan. I am a Donald, more of this in later posts. )
Anyhoo this monument was set up on Donald land because the Donalds were big supporters of BPC.
For those who do not know the story here, a brief rundown. The Stewarts (or Stuarts, spelling varies) were the hereditary kings of Scotland. Sort of. In fact calling them Stewarts is a bit problematic as they came down through the distaff side via Mary Queen of the Desert. Sorry, Scots.
MQS was one of the most humped and abducted queens since Guinevere. She had been queen of France much more than of Scotland. She was the daughter of James V of Scotland but he died when she was 5 and a set of regents took over the throne. As they felt they could manage quite nicely without a woman cluttering up the place they shipped her off to France as a child bride for the future Francis II of France, himself a religious loony and not too stable. He croaked suddenly shortly after ascending the throne and so in 1661 she pootled back to Scotland, landing in Leith.
She was about as welcome as a fart in a space suit, as the regents had no intention of giving up the throne. She married her cousin (what is it about British royalty and cousin-fancying?) Darnley and settled down to unhappy marriage. Darnley knocked her up (it is debatable as to wether the highly religious Francis ever consummated the marriage) and she gave birth to James VI/I. Her husband then gets murdered by Bothwell, a regent lord, who kidnaps her, takes her baby away to be reared Scottish and basically rapes her. In an early version of Stockholm Syndrome she actually settles down with Bothwell. Anyway in true Stewart manner she buggers up her rule magnificently, pisses everyone off and flees to England. Elizabeth is on the throne, childless, and Mary thinks she is the heir. She first asks for shelter then leads a rebellion. Anyone with an idea of Elizabeths temper will know what happens next....Mary is banged up then executed. Now I want you to look for a pattern here...Stewart gets near throne, behaves spectacularly stupidly and ends up deported or dead or both.
Elizabeth does actually name James her heir, and he eventually inherits despite being a bandy legged dwarf and bisexual spendthrift. (One lord at the time, commenting on the state of James budget and also his bedroom habits asked "how may we know the level of the barrel when the money disappears through diverse cocks" cocks meaning spigot (hence the other meaning) and also what it does now)
James survives Bonfire Night without too much bother though he does have a thing about witches, writing a book about them. He also hated tobacco and Walter Raleigh. So for a Stewart frittering the budget on rent boys and writing books on demons is a pretty successful reign. he didnt get up to much else. His son, Charles, was the second stupidest king England ever had. He caused a civil war by trying to assert absolute monarchy (a belief that came from France via MQC. England had never had an absolute monarch, even the Tudors had to keep the parliament onside). Well actually he set off about 4 of them one after the other. every time he made peace and signed a treaty he escaped and started it all again. In the end Cromwell, above all a practical man, decided enough was enough and cut his head off. When Charles II eventually got the throne he looked at the previous 2 generations, decided Grandad had it right and shagged his way through his reign with little else of note except the fire of London. Then there was James II. the stupidest one ever. Again with the absolutism, using the Royal prerogative to overrule parliament. Tried to reinstall Catholicism, which by this time was a no-hoper. Eventually his Lords got so pissed off they mounted a rebellion and removed him. The army of William off Orange had both James daughters in it. James tried to run away from the fight twice, had a nosebleed and buggered off to France. nobody missed him. We then go through Mary and Anne, James daughters and both die childless. The English do not want another Stuart at any price so they invite a cousin, George, over from hanover....and the Haggis hits the fan. The Scots, who hadn't 'really had to put up with the full idiocy of the Stuarts, felt nostalgic for them and wanted em back. There was an abortive rising in 1715 which was put down and caused the founding of the Scottish road network and Fort William, and then there was BPC. He was raised in France and had a total Monty Python French accent. He was about as Scottish as the Queen of Englands tits but there you go. He raised his standard at Glenfinnan. The clans rose ( sort of. a fair number couldnt be arsed or had a note from their mother). He marches south and gets as far as Derby, putting the shits up George II (himself a fair soldier who was the last English king to lead troops in battle and would later die of a tricky bowel movement)...and then BPC gets the wind up, walks home, leads his army into a trap at Culloden, runs away, has it off with Flora MacDonald and goes into exile for good.
So the monument is to the congenital idiocy of the Stuarts or something. Anyway it is pretty.
Monument visible in middle picture between tree clumps.
Anyway that exhausts the sights of glenfinnan. Hotel dinner.
Next day dawns. I arrange passage to Mallaig on the train the following day to Mallaig, hoping to get the ferry to Inverie and pick up the trail from there if the knee gets better. I spend a lot of the day catching up on contacts as I can get signal here and wifi in the Hotel. One of the editors of Science has sent an email begging for a review we started a while ago to get finished. It is delayed because my former boss couldnt be arsed so after an exchange of emails I take it over and undertake to finish it. Unfortunately this contact with the outer world triggers wife related nightmares and I have a very very rough night.
Anyway Genfinnan is well worth a half hour stop.
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